Empathy

• Empathy is the feeling that you understand and share another person's experiences and emotions; the ability to share someone else's feelings. When one is sympathetic, one implies pity but maintains distance from another person’s feelings.
• A former smoker is more likely to have empathy with someone who is trying to quit. A feeling of "been there, done than, bought the t-shirt" that makes you understand what the other is feeling. 
• Another example, one may say that they feel bad for you and they understand your situation, but you'll always know that they're saying " Thank god i'm not in thats situation" from behind your back. 
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Relational Aggression

Relational aggression, also known as indirect bullying, is a type of bullying that often targets someones social status or relationships. Peers become increasingly significant in adolescence. Peer relationships are especially important for adolescents' healthy psychological development: peers provide many new behavioral models and feedback essential for successful identity formation and development of one’s sense of self.

 spreading gossip, refusing to socialize with the target, bullying other people who wish to socialize with the target, and criticizing the target's manner of dress and other socially-significant markers (including the target's race, religion, disability, sex, or sexual preference, etc.) are part of the wide variety of ways to commit the act. 

Many of us unintentionally say something that could effect the well being of another person. WATCH WHAT YOU SAY.

Empathy

                                                                        
                                                                          Empathy

Empathy is not just a way to extend the boundaries of your moral universe. According to new research, it's a habit we can cultivate to improve the quality of our own lives. 


http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1

Empathy

Empathy

Definition: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
  
      According to skillsyouneed.com, "Empathy is a term that is often misunderstood. This page attempts to describe 'empathy' and suggest ways that we can become more empathetic towards others. Empathy is perhaps the most advanced of all communication skills."

Examples:

It means imagining yourself in someone else's situation and being able to put yourself in their position - you understand their circumstance. 

Like being a student. I remember what is was like having to study/read all the time and take tests where you didn't know what the teacher would ask. It was stressful. Now that I'm not a student I have more money (because I have a "real" job) and less stress (because when I go home my time is my own and I don't have to spend my free time - or feel like I should be spending my free time 

answers.yahoo.com

Emapathy

You can never truly understand someones pain until you are the one who feels it.
-Unknown




http://www.searchquotes.com/quotes/about/Empathy/

What is Empathy

  Emotion researchers generally define empathy as the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. 
Having empathy doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll want to help someone in need, though it’s often a vital first step toward compassionate action. 
Contemporary researchers often differentiate between two types of empathy: “Affective empathy” refers to the sensations and feelings we get in response to others’ emotions; this can include mirroring what that person is feeling, or just feeling stressed when we detect another’s fear or anxiety. “Cognitive empathy,” sometimes called “perspective taking,” refers to our ability to identify and understand other peoples’ emotions. Studies suggest that people with autism spectrum disorders have a hard time empathizing. 

 http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/empathy/definition

Empathy's Tears

To be blessed with sensitivity's curse;

empathy's tears do nourish Mother Earth.

Caring about others will haunt your soul,

to be marooned alone you can't be whole.

Pain must always come to those who express;

no safety in coffins of selfishness.

I'm drawn to those who have suffered defeat;

compassionate struggles are their soul's wreath.

I'm not guided by light from what you do;

suffering's prism reflects the true you.

With your pain my suffering doth echo;

understanding will come from what we show.

To be blessed with sensitivity's curse;

empathy's tears do nourish Mother Earth.

Stop Bullying With Empathy

When I knocked on the door of teenage mother Amy, she held her infant baby girl in her arms and her toddler clung to her leg. Her glasses had been punched into her eyebrow, leaving a fresh cut, and she lead with, "Mary, he didn't mean it, he said he was sorry, he even cried." He was able to admit that he could not feel what she felt. He lacked empathy.

The absence of empathy is a common denominator in atrocities at home such as family violence, bullying at school and global atrocities such as the Holocaust, genocide and the marginalization of those who are different in some way. When levels of empathy go up, people are less likely to hurt one another, as they understand how it feels to be hurt. This is exactly what we see in the Roots of Empathy classrooms as children are able to identify with the feelings of the other. Randomized longitudinal When I knocked on the door of teenage mother Amy, she held her infant baby girl in her arms and her toddler clung to her leg. Her glasses had been punched into her eyebrow, leaving a fresh cut, and she lead with, "Mary, he didn't mean it, he said he was sorry, he even cried." He was able to admit that he could not feel what she felt. He lacked empathy.

The absence of empathy is a common denominator in atrocities at home such as family violence, bullying at school and global atrocities such as the Holocaust, genocide and the marginalization of those who are different in some way. When levels of empathy go up, people are less likely to hurt one another, as they understand how it feels to be hurt. This is exactly what we see in the Roots of Empathy classrooms as children are able to identify with the feelings of the other. Randomized longitudinal research studies show that this aggression and bullying is reduced significantly and remains lower over time. Developing empathy allows us to identify our shared humanity. Roots of Empathy was born to draw the curtain on cruelty and build a bridge which connects us to one another, to our shared feelings.

We are all born with the capacity for empathy and it flowers or fades in the early years in response to the care we receive from loved ones. Roots of Empathy works from the love between a parent and an infant. Across the United States, hundreds of Roots of Empathy classrooms have brought together neighborhood infants and parents, along with a trained instructor and an award-winning curriculum to build empathy in children over the school year.

Empathy

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.  He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of
his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents.Is that enough to take a look?"  "Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.  The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.  Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up...

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said,  "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.  In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.  Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.

https://sites.google.com/a/wautoma.k12.wi.us/character-education/stories-about-empathy

Empathy 

How did you feel when I caught you?
I saw the shame in the way you quickly glanced down and changed your voice,
You sounded guarded, indifferent,
It’s not worth it I told you,
And then you told me what happened,
I wanted to take in your left arm and softly kiss all those scars,
I love you,
Not in the sexual way,
But in a protective way,
At that moment you were my brother, you were my uncle, you were my son,
I wanted to tell you that I understood,
That I can empathize,
Because before and after everything we are still human,
Flawed and scarred and sick,
You kept on disappearing throughout the night,
I picture what you were doing,
Looking at yourself in the mirror, telling yourself off,
Being mean and cruel, and sick, wishing you were high,
I followed you around, hoping to keep you safe, even just for a day,
I wanted to hug you, to wipe your invisible tears of your face,
Let me kiss your scars, I know what it feels like to be human

http://allpoetry.com/poem/11200053-Empathy-by-Jackie-Castro

Empathy

A young student, was one day taking a walk with a professor, who was commonly called the students' friend, from his kindness to those who waited on his instructions.   As they went along, they saw lying in the path a pair of old shoes, which they supposed to belong to a poor man who was employed in a field close by, and who had nearly finished his day's work.    The student turned to the professor, saying: "Let us play the man a trick: we will hide his shoes, and conceal ourselves behind those bushes, and wait to see his perplexity when he cannot find them."   "My friend" answered the professor, "we should never amuse ourselves at the expense of the poor. But you are rich, and may give yourself a much greater pleasure by means of the poor man. Put a coin into each shoe, and then we will hide ourselves and watch how the discovery affects him."  

The student did so, and they both placed themselves behind the bushes close by.   The poor man soon finished his work, and came across the field to the path where he had left his coat and shoes. While putting on his coat he slipped his foot into one of his shoes; but feeling something hard, he stooped down to feel what it was, and found the coin.   Astonishment and wonder were seen upon his countenance. He gazed upon the coin, turned it round, and looked at it again and again. He then looked around him on all sides, but no person was to be seen. He now put the money into his pocket, and proceeded to put on the other shoe; but his surprise was doubled on finding the other coin.   His feelings overcame him; he fell upon his knees, looked up to heaven and uttered aloud a fervent thanksgiving, in which he spoke of his wife, sick and helpless, and his children without bread, whom the timely bounty, from some unknown hand, would save from perishing.  

The student stood there deeply affected, and his eyes filled with tears. "Now," said the professor, "are you not much better pleased than if you had played your intended trick?"   The youth replied, "You have taught me a lesson which I will never forget. I feel now the truth of those words, which I never understood before: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

Empathy & Bullying

Empathy & Bullying

To fully comprehend bullying and its preventions in detail, we must first study attributes which can help us react effectively.

Empathy: the feeling that you understand and share another person's experiences and emotions; the ability to share someone else's feelings.

 

Since the Jan. 14 death of Phoebe Prince, the 15-year-old in South Hadley, Mass., who committed suicide after being bullied by fellow students, many onlookers have meditated on whether the circumstances that led to her after-school hanging might have been avoided.
Could teachers have stepped in and stopped the bullying? Could parents have done more to curtail bad behavior? Or could preventive measures have been started years ago, in early childhood, long before bullies emerged and started heaping abuse on their peers?

Increasingly, neuroscientists, psychologists and educators believe that bullying and other kinds of violence can indeed be reduced by encouraging empathy at an early age. Over the past decade, research in empathy — the ability to put ourselves in another person's shoes — has suggested that it is key, if not the key, to all human social interaction and morality.
Without empathy, we would have no cohesive society, no trust and no reason not to murder, cheat, steal or lie. At best, we would act only out of self-interest; at worst, we would be a collection of sociopaths.
Although human nature has historically been seen as essentially selfish, recent science suggests that it is not. The capacity for empathy is believed to be innate in most humans, as well as some other species — chimps, for instance, will protest the unfair treatment of others, refusing to accept a treat they have rightfully earned if another chimp doing the same work fails to get the same reward.
The first stirrings of human empathy typically appear in babyhood: newborns cry when hearing another infant's cry, and studies have shown that children as young as 14 months offer unsolicited help to adults who appear to be struggling to reach something. Babies have also shown a distinct preference for adults who help rather than hinder others.

http://content.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1982190,00.html



depth of empathy

 empathy is defined in simplest form as feeling what others may be feeling. For example, if someone is feeling pain, you feel the same pain although you are not going through what they are. That is empathy. That's why it's so important when there is bullying involved! Feeling what the other is feeling or considering their circumstance makes a huge difference.

Cory Monteith Anti-Bullying

"I didn't have any definition of self. I never fit in, so i started pretending i was other people. I'd find people i thought were cool and dress how they dressed, talk how they talked, do whatever they were into." This led to a period of drugs and alcohol. When his family gave him an ultimatum to get clean or they'd report him to the police. Cory said,"I was done fighting myself. I'm going to start looking at my life and figure out why I'm doing this." He quit using, got a job, and surrounded himself with sober people and was the star of Glee. Cory Monteith died on July 13th 2013.

Source : http://www.heyugly.org/celebrityquotes.php

Listen to People, talk to people and do something to help others.

what about feelings

 Okay, I'm sure we're all tired of seeing the word bullying on here, so let's talk about something else--feelings. Feelings hold a huge emotional impact when one is being victimized or is victimizing. There will always be feelings behind it, a reason, so don't degrade yourself by doing the same as them; instead, realize exactly what it is and work to help them if they need it! Looking at it from the bully's point of view is important too!

Percentages of bulling

1 out of 4 teens are bullied 
As many as 160,000 students stay home on any given day because they're afraid of being bullied
682,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month
80% of the time an argument with a bully will end up in a physical fight 

Strong

"Never be ashamed of what you feel. You have the right to feel any emotion that you want, and to do what makes you happy. That's my life motto." 

Demi Lovato

Bullying Stops Here.

Watch yourself either rise or fall

Watch your thoughts,they became words,
Watch your words, they became actions,
Watch your actions, they became habits, 
Watch your habits, they became character, 
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
                                              -Patrick Overton             

Don't Hate

DEFINE YOURSELF

Bystanders

You think I mean it when I say it's OK? :-(

Bullying does NOT only happen at school!

Listen guys, i've been bullied throughout my whole life by co-workers, other students, and some people who i even referred to as "friends". Many of the times, i'd simply just play along when i was bullied just so i could fit in with the rest of the group. But really, it does hurt-and a lot. And i'm not alone, millions of other people around the world are in the same position i used to be in.
 
                                  


From washingtonpost.com,

Anti-bullying legislation just approved by the Michigan Senate has been denounced by the father of the teenager for whom it was named because, he said, it actually allows bullying to continue.

The legislation, called “Matt’s Safe School Law,” was named after Matt Epling, an honor-roll student who killed himself at the age of 14 in 2002 after being assaulted by bullies at his school.

The draft law, which passed the state Senate with 26 Republican votes against 11 Democratic votes and now advances to the lower house, includes language inserted before the vote that says the bill “does not prohibit a statement of a sincerely held belief or moral conviction” of a student or school worker.

Activists say that the provision gives bullies license to prey on other students — especially those who are gay, lesbian or transgender — and, at least as important, gives bystanders who should be trying to stop bullying an excuse not to intervene.

The boy’s father, Kevin Epling, posted a video to YouTube in which he says he is “ashamed” of the legislation and that it will create more strife in schools.

The law, he said, “would basically say it is okay to bully or to ignore instances of bullying based on your own religious beliefs and/or moral convictions, which is contrary to the rest of the bill and it is definitely contrary to what I’ve been telling students, to step in and step up when they see this taking place in their school. As a society, we need to decrease the bystander effect, those who sit idly by and watch as things happen.”

                

Words Hurt

Words Hurt

Real Story 

Karen Klein, a 68-year-old bus monitor, was tormented by her students with profanity, insults and threats during one bus ride. One student documented the 10 minute ordeal, uploaded it to YouTube and the video went viral.

After Max Sidorov, a Toronto nutritionist, saw the video, he, along with the fundraising site Indiegogo, managed to raise a stunning $700,000 in support of Ms. Klein. She plans on using part of the funds toward the Karen Klein Anti-Bullying Foundation.

http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/serving-justice-8-acts-of-bullying/

Outcome of Bullying

Keeping calm is what Bullies lack

Bullying of Muslims on the Rise

Bullying of Muslim Students on the Rise

 A new report is shedding a disturbing new light on school bullying involving Muslim students in California. The Council on American-Islamic Relations says 1 in 5 Muslim students suffer bullying because of their religion.

Fatima Abdo, 15, and her mother won't forget a bullying incident last spring at Fatima's high school in the Eastside Union High School District of San Jose-- but it didn't involve a fellow student. It was one of her teachers.

"Everyone was chatting and then my teacher just turns to me and she's like, 'If you don't stop talking, I'm going to rip that thing off your head.' And then the whole class was so silent and shocked. They all gasped," Fatima recalled.

The teacher was talking about Fatima's hijab, an Islamic head scarf. Fatima told her principal, who took quick action and called a meeting with the family and teachers. "She said she was joking around or whatever and I told her that that was something she should never joke about, especially such a sensitive thing,'" Fatima recalled.

A complaint was made to the Bay Area chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations which resulted in sensitivity training for the school's staff. The episode is part of a new report called "Growing in Faith" about bullying of Muslim students in California where 500 students were surveyed.

"What we discovered was 50 percent of the students, 1 out of every 2 students reported that they had been teased on account of being Muslim," Rachel Roberts told ABC7 News. The report also found 1 in 5 students were unsure about participating in classroom discussions on Islam. Others were unsure if teachers respected their religions.

"Initially hurt and pain, and then a bit of anger," said Fatima's mother Pearl, describing the emotions felt after the incident. "And then, we've got to do something about this, a plan of action."

Fatima's mother was happy with how her daughter's school handled their bullying incident. The council hopes all schools will look at the new report, which calls for more education and greater tolerance for Muslim students.

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?id=9366801

Bullies aren't anything but

                                     REMEMBER ME ?                          

REMEMBER ME?

I AM THE BOY WHO SOUGHT FRIENDSHIP;

THE BOY YOU TURNED AWAY.

I THE BOY WHO ASKED YOU

IF I TOO MIGHT PLAY.

I THE FACE AT THE WINDOW

WHEN YOUR PARTY WAS INSIDE,

I THE LONELY FIGURE

THAT WALKED AWAY AND CRIED.

I THE ONE WHO HUNG AROUND

A PUNCHBAG FOR YOUR GAMES.

SOMEONE YOU COULD KICK AND BEAT,

SOMEONE TO CALL NAMES.

BUT HOW STRANGE IS THE CHANGE

AFTER TIME HAS HURRIED BY,

FOUR YEARS HAVE PASSED SINCE THEN

NOW I’M NOT SO QUICK TO CRY.

I’M BIGGER AND I’M STRONGER,

I’VE GROWN A FOOT IN HEIGHT,

SUDDENLY I’M POPULAR

AND YOU’RE LEFT OUT OF THE LIGHT.

I COULD, IF I WANTED,

BE SO UNKIND TO YOU.

I WOULD ONLY HAVE TO SAY

AND THE OTHER BOYS WOULD DO.

BUT THE MEMORY OF MY PAIN

HOLDS BACK THE REVENGE I’D PLANNED

AND INSTEAD, I FEEL MUCH STRONGER

BY OFFERING YOU MY HAND

I am 

I am the person you bullied at school,
I am the person who didn’t know how to be cool,
I am the person you alienated,
I am the person you ridiculed and hated.

I am the person who sat on her own,
I am the person who walked home alone,
I am the person you scared every day,
I am the person who had nothing to say.

I am the person with hurt in her eyes,
I am the person you never saw cry,
I am the person living alone with her fears,
I am the person destroyed by her peers.

I am the person who drowned in your scorn,
I am the person who wished she hadn’t been born,
I am the person you destroyed for ‘fun’,
I am the person, but not the only one.

I am the person whose name you don’t know,
I am the person who just can’t let go,
I am the person who has feelings too,
And I was a person, just like you.

Real life bullying story:

http://www.newser.com/story/173248/family-of-bullied-boy-12-sues-over-his-suicide.html

A 12 year old boy who committed suicide because of bullying. 

Real Life Story 

TAMPA, Fla. - For nearly a year, as many as 15 girls ganged up on 12-year-old Rebecca Ann Sedwick and picked on her, authorities say, bombarding her with online messages such as "You should die" and "Why don't you go kill yourself."

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/fifteen-bullies-pushed-girl-suicide-authorities-article-1.1455917#ixzz2tytmhIBT

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1455913.1379166420!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/sedwick15n-4-web.jpg

Live On By Rose Heart

When I think about my life, I soon begin to cry.
And all I want to do is lie down and die.
The hurtful words and scars on my heart.
I feel torn apart.

Get over it they all said, it's not that bad.
And the fact that they have no idea what it feels like makes me mad.
Because words hurt and there's nothing you can do,
That pain of everything they throw at you will never sweep through.

Depression is not a joke; it's not something you take lightly.
This world is gripping you tightly and you can't escape, 
And everyone thinks you're a mistake.

Hold on to that last string of your heart.
Don't give up on people.
Even if there is one person in your life who appreciates you.
Who accepts you for who you are.
So live on and don't let the railroads of life confuse you.
Live on and be proud of who you are and not who people want you to be.

Sited- http://www.bestteenpoems.com/poem/live-on-and-be-proud